


As Mornings Go

by respoftw



Series: The Adventures of Ace Dameron [11]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Kid Fic, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ace had known that Finn was going off world on a mission, had known it for days and had even seemed excited for his Daddy to go away and come back with more stories of heroics to entertain him with. Until that morning when suddenly he was clinging fiercely to Finn and begging him not to go, refusing to let go until Poe had had to pry his small hands off of Finn's neck, causing Ace to start screaming and kicking at Poe, while still brokenly pleading with his Daddy not to leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Mornings Go

**Author's Note:**

> More than one person asked for me to bring the angst in again so....

"But I didn't want him to go!" Asa sobs into Poe's neck as Poe carries him away from the airstrip, through the hangar and into the compound, making his way as quickly as possible towards their quarters; towards privacy.

He could feel eyes on them as they walked past, some sympathetic, some annoyed at the wailing sobs that were still pouring out of Asa, all unwelcome. All Poe wanted was to get Ace home and find out just what was going through his little boy's mind.

Ace had known that Finn was going off world on a mission, had known it for days and had even seemed excited for his Daddy to go away and come back with more stories of heroics to entertain him with. Until that morning when, suddenly, he was clinging fiercely to Finn and begging him not to go, refusing to let go until Poe had had to pry his small hands off of Finn's neck, causing Ace to start screaming and kicking at Poe, while still brokenly pleading with his Daddy not to leave.

Finn had looked devastated as he forced himself onto the ship, exchanging frantically worried glances with Poe who was struggling to keep Ace from hurting himself in amongst all the flailing and screaming.

As mornings go, it hadn't been the best.

Poe had half expected Ace's crying to have tapered off by the time that they reached the quarters that they now shared with Finn but the hitching sobs were still coming thick and fast, tears and snot soaking into the collar of Poe's shirt.

His heart breaking, Poe collapses on the couch and listens to his baby boy's tears. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know where this has come from and has never needed Finn here so badly. Knowing that Ace is beyond communication right now, Poe settles into the cushions as he gently rubs his hands across a small, heaving back, making gentle shushing noises and murmuring comforting words into Ace's hair until he finally quiets down, his heart wrenching sobs turning into snuffling snores as he sinks into an exhausted sleep.

Poe doesn't move from the couch for a long time.

* * *

 

He must have drifted off at some point because, without warning, Poe is blinking awake as knobbly knees press perilously close to areas where no knees should venture. Ace is scrambling his way off of his lap, his eyes swollen and raw looking even after sleep.

"Is Daddy home yet?" Ace asks hopefully, the question like a punch to Poe's heart.

"Not yet, buddy," Poe stretches his neck to check the time from the clock on the holodisplay, "it's only been a few hours."

Ace nods sadly, sniffling his nose as he reaches for his bantha.

Sighing, Poe pulls out a handkerchief and covers Ace's nose, gently nudging him to blow. Once his nose is clear, Poe kneels down in front of him. "You ready to tell me what's got you so upset?" he asks.

Ace shakes his head as he buries his face in his bantha's fur, hiding from Poe.

Not to be deterred, Poe keeps talking. "You know that your Daddy has trained really hard to get ready for this mission." No reaction from Ace. Poe tries a new approach. "Remember when your Daddy fought off ten _thousand_ order soldiers and rescued Princess Rey?"

Ace's breath stutters as he speaks muffled words into his soft toy.

"What was that, buddy?" Poe asks, leaning forward to hear better.

"He got hurt!" Ace cries out angrily, tearing his face from its hiding place, red rimmed eyes fiercely blazing. "When he rescued Princess Rey, he gotted hurt and he ended up in bed for a really long time. I don't want him to get hurt again." Ace's lower lip starts to wobble and his eyes sparkle with unshed tears. "I don't want him to get hurt like Mama did," he whispers. "I only just got him."

Poe forgets how to breathe for a second as he learns just how it feels to have his heart ripped out.

Ace stifles another heart wrenching sob that spurs Poe into action. "Buddy, hey buddy, listen to me.  That's not gonna happen. Finn's gonna be fine, he'll be home to make you those pancakes you like for breakfast tomorrow, just wait and see."

Ace looks at him with big, serious brown eyes; _trusting_ brown eyes.  "You promise?"

"I promise." Poe pulls him in for a cuddle and really hopes that he hasn't just lied to his son.

* * *

Finn's ship loses contact with control three hours later and Poe learns just how easily his world can fall apart.

* * *

 

"Poe? Poe? Commander?"

Poe's head snaps up to find Snap in front of him, frowning in concern.

"You going to be OK, man?" he asks, gently.

Poe's not sure if there are words in any language that describe just how _not_ OK he's going to be. His head is filled with the worst kind of imagined horrors, his fear for Finn is staggering and he's faced with the terrifying realisation that he would wish the worst kind of torture, the most _agonising_ amount of pain, on Finn if only it would mean that he were still alive.

" -ddy?"

He only realises Snap had still been talking to him when he stops.

"I'm sorry," he lies.  "I didn't catch that. What were you saying?"

Snap's eyes are pitying and Poe wants to poke them out, wants to yell and scream and tell him that Finn isn't gone yet, that they don't know anything for sure and he can take his pity and shove it up his -  - he breathes deeply and focuses on listening.

"Ace was calling him Daddy?" Poe flinches at the 'was' and Snap offers him an apologetic grimace. "I mean, we all heard him screaming it as Finn left today. I hadn't realised that you guys were so....serious."

Poe smiles, a real smile despite the situation because, even when faced with the thought of having lost him, how could the thought of Finn possibly fail to make him smile?

"We were....we _are_." The words strengthen Poe. They _are_ serious, they're more than serious, they're family and forever and if that were Poe stuck out there in space then he could be damn sure that Finn would be doing everything he possibly could to get him back and, goddamnit, he had a rescue to plan.

* * *

 

"No, absolutely not." General Organa refuses to even hear Poe's plan.

"But Leia, _please_."

"Oh no, don't you dare Leia me now, Poe. You think I don't know how you feel? How scared you are? How much it hurts? Because I _do_ , the force knows I do. I've been there, Poe. You know I have. And you know what I did? What the most important thing I could do was?"

Poe shakes his head, moved to silence by the thickness of Leia's voice, the wateriness of her eyes.

"I was there for my son." She reaches out to tenderly cup Poe's chin. "Be there for Asa, Poe. He needs you. And I think you need him too.  We're not giving up, I promise."

* * *

"Is Daddy home yet?" Ace asks, bright eyes looking up from his latest artistic masterpiece which seems to depict Finn making pancakes while wielding a lightsaber.

Poe can't do it. He can't bring himself to tear Ace's world apart like that, not while there's still hope. He has until breakfast at least to let Ace live in blissful ignorance, right? Forcing a smile on his face, Poe sits on the floor next to Asa.

"Not yet, buddy. Pancakes tomorrow, remember?"

"Yeah," Ace sighs, "I just thought if anybody could get the mission done super fast it would be Daddy."

Poe swallows the lump in his throat. "I bet he's trying his hardest to get back to us both as soon as he can. You want some help with your pictures?"

Ace squeals excitedly as he nods and hands Poe a stack of markers, smacking a wet kiss on his stubbled cheek as he nudges closer. "You can colour this in! Thank you Papa!"

* * *

Poe hadn't wanted the day to end. It's a funny thing to think about such a horrible day but, as tough as it's been, he can't even begin to comprehend just how tough telling Asa about Finn going missing will be.

For the second time in less than 24 hours, he must have fallen asleep on the couch with Asa curled up against him.

There's no threatening knees this time, instead he's woken by the warm, buttery smell of...pancakes.

Confused, Poe cranes his neck towards the kitchen to see Finn, scruffy and bruised and so wonderfully alive, hissing as he tries to flip the pancake with his grease stained fingers.

_"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"_

Ace flies off the couch, torpedoing in to Finn's legs as Finn laughs and lifts him up, holding him close and peppering kisses all over his cheeks as Ace wriggles in glee.

"I missed you so much, Daddy." Ace is babbling and Poe is staring and Finn is...Finn's _here_ and he's making pancakes and - - Poe laughs, bright and happy and so, so grateful.

"I was worried you'd get hurt but Papa said you'd be fine." Ace continues to chatter away, blind to the overwhelming joy his Papa was currently experiencing. "He said you'd always come back to us and that you would make me pamcakes and he was right!"

Finn's eyes meet Poe's and Poe can see that Finn's dead on his feet, that he's a pancake away from collapsing into sleep, that there's a story there that Poe won't like hearing but needs to know. None of that matters as Finn smiles. "I'll always come back," he promises before turning back to Asa. "Your Papa's a smart man, you should listen to him."

Poe crosses the distance between the couch and the kitchen and pulls Finn and Asa into a crushing hug, causing Ace to dissolve into giggles and Finn to start complaining about the pancakes burning.

As mornings go, it's pretty damn near perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> As ever, if anyone has any ideas for things they'd like to see in this series - please let me know either in the comments or message me on [tumblr](http://buffycuddlespigs.tumblr.com/ask) Or just come and yak to me about stormpilot!


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